Good Riddance to Mad Rubbish

Please remind me of this at Christmas:

A nine by nine foot cube of junk collected from around our house was disposed of last weekend. Another 6 cubic feet remains in our garage waiting for the Purple Heart truck to pull in, load it up and take it away. Memo to myself: Never allow this much crap into my life again. Having gotten this load of garbage out of my house, I've been doing some strategizing about how to keep it lean and clean around here, and this is what I've come up with.

The approach is two-fold. 1.) Stop bringing in new stuff and 2.) If you do bring it in, get rid of something else, and recycle the new item as soon as it's lost it's appeal or usefulness. I have faith that this is an easy enough plan that I can follow it. I ask for the reminder at Christmas, because most of the time I am sensible about my consumption of goods, but sometimes, I lose my freaking mind. Christmas is one of those times.

I am particularly vulnerable to the ambiance of Christmas. The cozy sweaters, the smell of cookies baking, Judy Garland's sweet encouragement: Go on, Erin..."Have yourself a merry little Christmas." Don't mind if I do, Judy. Each year, I dutifully trek out into the snowy morning and return hours later with bags and bags of gifts and holiday supplies. Mostly it's since we had a child that it has gotten really bad. My heart strings just get plucked the second I walk into a toy store and before I know it, I'm wrapping a mountain of gifts, feeling sick and gluttonous, and realizing I have to hold some back for her birthday. What is it about "it's for the children" that makes us particularly susceptible to buying more stuff?

I was reminded of this after the garage sale, as I bagged up the $200 crib bedding set I had to have, in the name of "the baby," and threw it on the donation pile. I folded up piles of barely used tiny clothing, some with the tags still on. I scrubbed up a hundred dollar high chair we used only a few times because the travel booster seat worked just fine and didn't block an exit. I wish I had been a smarter mother-to-be. My own garage sale made me realize how ridiculously accessible and cheap so many of those goods could have been. My neighbor and I had duplicates of almost everything.

A few days after the sale, my neighbor tried to donate her crib, a crib mattress still in the plastic, and a car seat that had never been used. No charity would take it. Not one. And these were perfectly clean and useful items. It's not like she walked into the Salvation Army and said something like, "Look everything's in almost new condition. Sure the crib nearly strangled my daughter, and she did shit herself several times on the mattress, but what kid doesn't? Also, the carseat's in great condition, but I did snip the straps just a little to make her a little more comfy." I'm telling you, this stuff was still in wrappers, in boxes, barely used. They all turned her away in the name of safety.

On one hand, I understand their concerns. Safety standards change, products get recalled, yada yada yada. But these items were clearly no more than a few years old. It just made me sad, thinking of how many solitary piles of baby waste each family in America must contribute to landfills. And I'm not even talking about disposable diapers. Think about it. Most mothers-to-be have a baby shower for their first child. At every shower I've been to, the expectant mom receives a car seat, stroller, pack and play, bouncy chair, swing, baby gate, high chair, plastic baby bath, and lots and lots of blankets, clothing, and stuffed toys. Every single one! Most families also buy a crib, a rocker, and a changing table, along with various decorations for "the nursery." Most of this is used for a year or two. A few items might be given to trusting loved ones, but other than that, most of is is destined for a landfill because resale shops don't want it.

There's some message buried deep in the American psyche that tells us if it isn't still in the package or if it doesn't have tags on it, it's tainted. A friend of mine came to our garage sale, and half-jokingly asked if he might find anything for an upcoming baby shower we had both been invited to. Later, at the shower, as we watched our friend unwrap her own mountain of new baby goods, he commented on how he halfway considered getting something at the garage sale, but felt obligated to buy something new and to spend a socially acceptable amount of money on the gift. Nevermind that there was a perfectly good, working baby monitor on the table for $1. He felt compelled to put a larger chunk of money toward our friend's collection of new baby goods. I did the same.

Well, the remains of ours will soon be gone. In the unlikely event that I have a second child, I've decided I will not go directly to Babies Backward-R Us. I will personally set out on a campaign to collect back these necessities through second-hand sources like Craig's List and garage sales. Assuming I can find everything still in the package with tags still on, of course.